If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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