Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
