Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
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bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
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All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.