i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.