She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
