Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
