Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.