I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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