i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
