I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
