Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Randomize
