i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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