Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
