The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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