i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
