i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I have tasted many bathrooms
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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