the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
True strength comes from lack of pants
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
