She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
