see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
