So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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