i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
