So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize