my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
