if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
