she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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