Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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