I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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