do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
do herpes really smell.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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