Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
