Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize