You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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