Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
