took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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