I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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