I cut my penus on the lid.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
