One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
