***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
