I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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