I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
