i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize