I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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