so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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