Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
