Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
