You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
