I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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