I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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