You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
