Three words: puerto rican gang bang
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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