My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he fucked my hip out of place.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
