I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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