do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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