goodnight i made you a song goodbye
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize