when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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