I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
