I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
