Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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