no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
