Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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