i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize