I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
