She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
